Me: I guess I'll just start then, I apologize if there is too much in here that you have already answered on your blogs, I guess my goal is, as much as anything else to just compile all of the information in one spot, and maybe get you to expand a bit more on those blurry areas.
Me: First question: When and where did you first discover the mythos?
Dia: Oh, let's see...
I'd have to say through a friend that had stumbled into a sticky situation with the Wooden girl.
She asked me for help figuring out a series of puzzles that The Wooden Girl's puppet, the Jester, had started putting her through.
I started... I'll say doing research on the people and things that were connected to "Grace Smith" and wound up tripping over face-first into the Fear Mythos.
Me: So you knew right away that it was all true?
Dia: People... can't make up the kind of pain that girl and her brother were going through.
Besides, who wouldn't want to know more about the things that make up their nightmares?
Me: And how is your friend now, if you don't mind my asking?
Dia: Surprisingly, she's fine. She didn't wind up with the Compulsion like most people do.
Though.. well, she's getting curious.
She's starting to ask the same questions I did when I first got into all of this.
Me: What will you do if she gets sucked back in?
Dia: Well... I'll help her. That's what I try to do, though most of it stays behind the scenes. If I said 'everything' I knew publicly, it would no longer be able to help people.
Me: That's as true a statement as any.
Me: In one of your posts you said you knew more about “The Bogeymen” than you had any right to, what did you mean by that, was it just a way of saying you looked in to deep or was there something more.
Dia: Oh lord. Do you want the official PC version, or do you want something a little more truthful?
Me: I'd prefer the truthful version.
Dia: Well, for one, I use the term 'Boogeymen' because there are more Fears than we officially recognize. There are plenty, lord knows. The truly strong, the old ones, the ones that have infected enough to no longer be able to contain... they are the ones that deserve the label "Fears."
And well... I'll put it this way, love. The Boogeymen, the Fears, the nightmares... hell, even the proxies don't always kill the people they torment. Sometimes they prefer to leave them alive.
Me: They are the true definition of "A fate worse than death," aren't they?
So you're saying that you regret finding out just how bad some of these creatures are?
Dia: Oh yes, you caught that? I continuously leave statements about them in my blogs, but I normally don't say anything too specific.
Dia: Damn the typos. Anyway. I don't regret finding them whatsoever. My being involved in the Fear Mythos has helped save more than one life. Why on earth would I regret that? Out of some silly wish that I didn't have to deal with pain or discomfort from dealing with them or their victims?
Even when the Fears aren't involved, we have to deal with things that cause us pain or break our lonely hearts. So this, to me, is no different.
Me: Well it seems to me that most of the fears are higher up on that level of pain.
You surely know that and yet you keep writing to help others.
Dia: I've been dealing with pain in one form or another all my life. Not all pain is physical, and not all the pain in our lives is caused by the Fears. I have scars from a few months ago to prove that.
We deal with it and try to make our loved ones' lives better, or we roll over and die. Honestly, I don't feel like watching people go through the same shit I have, and much worse, and know that I could help them... and not out of some kind of preservation instinct.
Dia: That would be cowardly.
Me: Fair enough, I'm fairly sure I wouldn't be so noble about it myself, but I certainly respect your attitude.
Dia: I'll answer any question I know the answer to. Unless it'll get someone killed. Then you're shit out of luck.
Me: Let’s talk about your stalker, the one leaving you all these messages, what do you know about this person?
You mean the guy with the envelopes that showed up before the... David incident?
The police caught him shortly after I was released from the hospital.
Me: You're sure?
Dia: Of course. I hear from them regularly. They pinned the incident on him, and he left prints on the letter, along with saliva on the envelope itself.
He's going to be gone for a very, very long time.
Me: Very well, what do you do for a living?
Dia: I help people. I wake up, go and help people and watch their pain destroy them from the inside, and try to help them the best I can. I come home, and try to keep people from dying from the supernatural ailments that find them.
Dia: Someone already found me from being careless about where I lived. If I gave them what i did for a living combined with that knowledge, my life would be fucked.
Me: Fair enough.
Dia: I'm not trying to hinder your research, love. I just can't tell you things that would be nailing myself on a cross, that would make my 'real life' a giant target.
Ask the right questions.
Me: You said your nightmares have been getting better, have they gone away entirely?
Dia: Oh lord no! I've just gotten used to them. I realized that fighting them was causing me pain. I was waking up to scratch marks on my arms, weapons by my bedside, and some kind of demented version of them written down in pages I would find lying scattered around my house.
So I just... how do I say this? Let myself dream. I use it as a learning exercise. And so, I never dream the same thing twice.
Me: What are some of the dreams you've been having then?
Dia: Not all of them are nightmares, anymore. Sometimes... I dream of love. Sometimes I dream of people I swear I should know.
Me: What do you mean "should know," do you recognize them?
Dia: Never seen them before in my life. But... it's like deja vu, and most of the time it's happy when that happens. People that...
How do I say this? Have you ever met someone and known if they were to hold you, you wouldn't scream? Something like that.
Me: Not quite, but I see where you're going... you feel comfortable around them.
Dia: Ha. You must have had a very different kind of life than mine.
Yes. Then again, I feel comfortable around baby killers and rapists.
So that statement doesn't mean much in context.
Me: Heh, well I rarely feel comfortable around people I genuinely enjoy, so I can imagine the other extreme.
Does that mean your dreams include those you interact with through the blogs?
Dia: I've never thought of it that way. I've technically 'met'
two of the people I know through the blogs, and only one of those was a 'happy' encounter.
Though, I can hardly say the KK interview was a happy experience. *laughs*
Me: Well if it wasn't happy than at least it wasn't as miserable.
Dia: The bitch brought a government issue weapon to the table, and only told me afterwards! Jeezus.
I was at least lucky enough to meet her before she became Blight.
Me: Small victories are to be praised, I suppose.
Me: I'm sorry if this is a sour subject, but how do you feel about the David incident, now that some time has passed?
Dia: I leave the radio on constantly to help deal with the...after-effects.
I do dream of him sometimes, though the dreams are different. I remember things I wish I didn't. And sometimes, well, I remember David in a positive way. It's an odd experience.
Me: How is it positive, is that just a feeling or is there something specific?
Dia: He taught me a few things. He was very cruel, but very kind. He spoke like a lover, acted like a lover, and well... you can imagine the rest.
Dia: He knows how to fuck with people's minds, and he is very much an expert at it.
Me: I see.
Dia: Mostly, he taught me to stop trusting anyone besides myself. And to stop being so soft.
He was a very good teacher in that way.
Me: So you believe he helped you better yourself, and you feel grateful.
I can understand that.
Dia: You could say that. That's a very nice way of saying that he taught me I was going to die if I didn't stop being so fucking stupid. Torture is a very good motivator at times.
Me: How has your memory been?
(There's a pause)
Dia: It's been...about the same level of oddity as my dreams.
You have to understand.
I sleep at most 3 hours a night, and I should probably be sick by now.
I half believe this is a dream. So half of what I DO remember, I chalk up to another dream or a foolish fantasy.
Me: That's interesting, are you losing time at all with this, or are you just unsure of your reality?
Dia: That brings to mind a certain quote.
Me: I love a good quote.
Dia: "Of course this has all happened in your mind. That doesn't mean it isn't real."
Forgive me for the loose translation, it's from my memory.
Me: That's o.k., it carries quite well.
But you still didn't answer my question about losing time.
Dia: Losing time? I feel every moment.
Do I understand them? No. Do they mesh with what I've apparently been doing? No.
I've "woken up" to some extremely odd situations in the last few months.
Me: That would be...disconcerting.
Any examples you care to share?
Dia: Oh sure. I've woken up to acting like it was a zombie apocalypse, boarding up walls and windows and having a full fucking arsenal beside my bed.
How I acquired these weapons, I have no freaking clue.
I've woken up naked standing in front of a mirror, with what looked like a nightmare standing behind my shoulder.
Nothing was there when I turned around.
Let's see.... I've also had some of the silly ones. The remote in the icebox, the mail in the garden, blood on the front step. You know. The normal.
Me: And you remembered events up to those moments, but they don't match with what actually happened?
Dia: Not whatsoever! But I don't really care. I've never hurt another soul during my wanderings, and anything to myself has been easily covered.
I'm generally pretty nonchalant when it comes to my own self-destruction, dear. You aren't going to find any fear or regrets with this line of questions. I'm sorry if you were expecting some.
Me: I don't mind terribly, I'm not here just to feed off of your fear.
I just wanted to know more about you, and now I do.
Dia: Was that really all you had to ask?
Me: For the sake of this interview, yes, I think its quite long enough to torture my readers.
Dia: If you say so, love.
Me: Anything else you want to say for the record?
Dia: That you should be extremely careful what you label the truth.
I've always told the truth, but you would be surprised what people can omit when they have the ability.
I see a bit of that from you, in fact.
Me: My tide, that warning is in the second post on my blog.
And it's not just a warning about me.
(These next two were posted very close together, so my next comment is more of a continuation of this statement than a reply.)
Dia: *laughs* Making sure you remembered, is all.
Me: It's a reminder.
Also, if within reason you need help or want to trade some day... let me know.
You aren't a fool.
Me: I will, thank you.
We talked for that a bit afterwords as well, but it was "off the record," and no matter how dubious I might be about telling the truth, I do not renegade on my word. If you want to know anything else about Dia, she always encourages asking questions, so ask her yourself. Anyway, that's all I have for you this time, but if anyone else wants an interview let me know and I'd be glad to do this kind of thing again.
See you around