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May 5, 2012

I guess this is it...

Well today I'm feeling melodramatic, and in light of recent events maybe it's actually prudent to do this.  After all I'm running around, breaking proxy's noses, manipulating Hunted, leaving cryptic messages lieing around.  Clearly I haven't mentioned all of this to you, but I did say that I would lie to you, didn't I?  I should probably explain: this is my death post.  Even when I go a rare day or two without checking this blog I never go a whole week, so I guess if I go a week without checking and pushing the publish date on this back I'm either dead, trapped, or seriously injured, and in the end they all amount to pretty much the same thing: I'm not able to update anymore.  Ideally I would just be in a minor coma, but otherwise I won't be posting again, one way or the other, if you understand what I mean, I just want to prepare you for that.  Heh, listen to me, "prepare you," like you need to be prepared.  I actually like some of you, and to those I truly am sorry, but the rest of you, and possibly even those whose company I enjoy, probably won't even care that much about my passing, lets face it, I'm no hero to anyone.  On that note, if it turns out that I just got lazy for a week and then lost my Internet connection for a couple days when I meant to update, than this is the work of a hacker, and everything said above and below should be considered a complete fabrication, and not at all the truth.

I guess I should be honest here, last chance, right?  I've killed more than once.  Another mercy killing, though, this time, it had none of the rage or vengeance motivated by my first murder.  A couple of weeks ago a runner found me, someone I knew.  I remembered going to the same school as him, we weren't really close, but I guess we were freinds.  When we were kids he wasn't the most outgoing person, but when I saw him this time... brown hair and brown eyes, both ragged and worn; short, thin, and tired of running.  He asked me to kill him, and at first I didn't know how to react.  After I got over the initial shock I asked him why me, and he said he needed someone who would be able to do it, and he didn't have the nerve to do it himself.  So, I agreed, we got in my car, drove to the nearest lake, and I shot him in the head.  Now the gun only has five bullets in it, I guess.  This time I gave him a proper grave instead of just leaving his corpse to the tall guy.  And I knew his name this time.  His name was Joshua; Joshua J. Felker.

I suppose I have some things to say to some of you specifically.

Dia: Oh the secrets we've shared, why you've even been able to get one or two out of me.  You know you pretend you aren't half as clever as you really are, but even then you come out far brighter than many of the people around you.  I've enjoyed our conversations, and now you know that I really did take your secrets to my grave, however shallow it might be right now.  Here's hoping you weren't the one to put me there, yes, you know I've learned it's best not to underestimate you.

Knitwolf: I can't help but wonder which path I chose in the end, pins or needles.  I've always respected that you looked at both paths, you considered the outcomes, and then you took the one that was best for you and didn't look back.  And of course, stories are always fun.  I hope you always know what path to take, and that none of them leave you with any regrets.

Gargoyle:  You know, while I'm writing this you've just dug yourself out of your little hole in the ground, I'm not even sure you're alive right now.  Well here's hopeing you are.  Actually, scratch that, I don't want my life span to be shorter than that of an average runner, no offense.  You've always been intresting, and I do hope we can continue have some of those conversations, it's nice to meet a Hunted person with a new perspective from time to time.

Robin:  For the love of my sanity I hope you gave up all that ridicliouness of wanting to pay me back a long time ago.  You don't owe me anything and you never did, the fact is that I'm a least partially responsible for the trouble you're in, I told Him who you were, and for that I'm sorry.  If you ever find Alva tell her I'm sorry for her, too.

Aura:  I'm going to say something I haven't had to say in a while: you're too nice of a person, by now you know where you stand, don't let your life just happen to you, make something happen too your life.

Overseer: You know you've never done much beyond follow orders for a while now, have you.  The world you're preparing isn't a eutopia, and even if you somehow elevate your mistress byond the level of her fellow Fears.  You're playing chess wrong, when you get to the other side of the board you get promoted, but you don't switch sides.  Then again I've always found your research intriuging, if you're working on anything that brings the dead back to life my body is yours to try it out on.

Amy:  You're a new face to me, but an intresting one.  I can't quite place my finger on it, yet, but I can just tell that we're going to be good pals by the time this post goes public.  What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good cynic.

Phillip: You're an idiot, if you're the one that killed me then I deserved to die.

Elizabeth:  You won't see this, but know that whatever I did choose I'm sorry I took so long to choose it.  It stuck you in a limbo that no one ever deserves to be trapped in.  For the record, I do hope I chose to help you.

And now it's time for one last revelation: the real reason behind this post is that I just needed an excuse to listen to Mumsford and Sons. Hey, I like them, and this is kind of an ominous song, perfect for a "death post." As this is probably the last thing you will ever hear from me you are obligated listen to the whole song. And cry, you're obligated to cry, because I'm dead, and you all care about me.

So my traditional sign-off probably isn't appropriate here, so I'll just leave you with this:

It's been nice seeing you all