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October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

Hello again, everyone, and happy holidays.  I'm sorry I haven't gotten up my community post yet, though I do promise that it is half done... okay a third done.  I am a horrible procrastinator, and frankly I was hoping there would be a few questions on the last post to give me an excuse for not updating so quickly when I already had all of my information in order.  I do promise, however, that my new post will be up by Wednesday, or Saturday at the latest.  I talked to the tall businessman earlier, and he refuses to wear the tie I got for him, I'm disappointed, but I think we all knew that he wasn't going to change his wardrobe for trick or treating.

If I were a bit more dedicated of a person I'd crank out a quick analysis of All Hallows Eve and how it relates to the Catholic All Saint's Day on November 1st.  Or I'd talk in depth about how candy was symbolic of the gifts that were placed on doorsteps to ward of evil spirits.  Or I'd draw parallels between it and the Spanish holiday Dia De Dus Muertos.  However, I'm not that dedicated, so you only get what I remember off the top of my head, besides, you probably don't care that much about an academic lecture of today, and I have to design and program a game for my intro to programming class, so I'll leave you with this: Have a happy Halloween, and be wary of small children in masks.

Oh, and before I forget, it seems that my poll revels the greatest fear of those gathered here is losing control, either of your physical or mental capabilities, it seems that only one person who has voted thus far doesn't share this fear.  Second place goes to the fear of isolation, neither of these are particularly surprising fears, but if you haven't voted yet please feel free, the poll is still open for a few days.

See you around

October 28, 2011

A note to future readers

Hello all, most of you by now have hopefully learned enough about me to know that I am a creature of knowledge, I love discovering new facts. One of my favorite ways isn't through reading some long generally purposed book or website or even a blog post that is aimed at a large group of readers, rather, I prefer personal interactions, I like meeting and interacting with people who have their own ideas or personal experience.  Therefore I am putting this post up as an open invitation to all future readers, if you have anything relevant to add to a post, or need any questions answered that relate to it please feel free to comment on that post, no matter how old it is.  I have set up my system specifically to notify me of any comments on my old blog posts so I will be able to respond to them without having the check through all of my postings regularly.  I realize that right now, while I can simply scroll down the page to see if the number of comments is the same as it was yesterday, this seems a bit like a pointless post, however I want it early enough that anyone trying to catch up on my blog is able to react to all of it as a current reader would.

I also want to make sure that this isn't just a useless post, for now, so I'm letting all of you current readers know that I am currently working on a post about communities, how they develop, the psychology of their members, and the different types.  After that I'll probably move on to hive minds, mostly in animals, so don't get your hopes up too very much, I am also welcoming any suggestions of places to research for these topics if you have ideas.  And finally, I am opening the comments for you to ask questions about me, this isn't going to be a highly personal blog, at least not in the posts, but I think that it is important we all get to know each other a little better.  Be aware of Rule #1 as The Gargoyle so aptly called it, I may not be able or willing to answer all of your questions honestly, but I will try to give you a good idea of who I am.

See you around

October 24, 2011

Dreaming Is Free

O.k., I don't even like Blondie all that much, but it was that or a MLKJ reference, and this seemed less cliche.  Yes, that's right, it's time for my first semi useful research post, also known as the reason I started this blog.   I figured I would start on something easy, but still something that most of us can relate to: Dreams.  As I'm sure most of you have experienced, our tall acquaintance seems capable of influencing our dreams, and even without his hand some dreams seem to have a deeper purpose, and a higher function.

Dreaming begins when a person enters R.E.M (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, which tends to be around 90 minutes after they fall asleep.  While there is no generally accepted explanation for why we dream, it is evident that without entering REM sleep we quickly lose the ability to function.  People who have gone several days without entering rem sleep often experience hallucinations, shortened attention spans, an inability so perform complex mental functions, and occasionally physiological reactions.  Dreams can seem to last hours or days, but in actuality they rarely last for longer than ten minutes.  This, more than anything, is a testament to the human brains untapped potential, if our subconscious is able to play out fantasies of such detail that much faster than we could ever experience them in real life, than the brain is capable of compiling and compressing more data in its free time than all the supercomputers in the world.  This also means that if our favorite dream demon can send these images to us, then he is capable of processing as much as our minds can handle on a consinouns and deliberate level.  There are many theories as to the purpose of dreams, including the ideas that they effect our long term memory, how we perceive individual memories, and how we remove unused emotions or sensations, these theories are not all bound together, but neither are they mutually exclusive, meaning if one had power over dreaming, he could possibly effect all these other mental functions as well.

Dreaming also has psychological implications.  Dreams are often seen as an opportunity to play out different scenarios in our head, with improved understanding of the results but no risk to ourselves.  Many people have claimed that dreaming has provided them with answers to problems that they couldn't solve while awake, showing another example of how much potential we have locked away.  Our favorite pervert, Freud, believed that dreams were a chance for the Id to live out its fantasies without the repercussions that would normally keep the ego or superego from stopping it.  He also believed that dreams were a way to conquer our emotions in stressful or confusing situations.

Dream interpretation is a heavily explored and long existing field of study, bordering on the realm of accepted science.  Many notable psychologists and ancient civilizations have contributed to the study of understanding dreams.  Despite all of these, or perhaps because of them, we are often left with many different interpretations for each dream.  One person could claim that a single dream represents several different issues manifesting themselves in a single scene, and someone else could say that the same dream focuses solely on a single issue, unrelated to the other person’s interpretations.  The fact is, to fully understand most dreams you need a lot of context, education, and practice, and I have very little of any in this field, so I'm not even going to try to fully explore this topic.

EDIT: A new note, one that is primairly speculation at this point, but I have found enough information that I feel comfortable talking about it here with the proper disclaimer.  There is evidence that the Slender Man is not the only creature capable of entering people's dreams.  At this point what evidence I have found leans towards the theory that whoever or whatever intiates the dream has the most power over the reciver.  This means that, if I am correct, Slender Man and creatures of a similar nature do not actually enter your dreams, rather they "manufacture" dreams, which they then place in your mind for you to view and interact with.  again this is just a theory, and it does not diminish the effects a dream can have on your mind, it is just an explination of how these dreams can occur.  I think that He can still "enter" dreams, but he does not have as much control in this situtaion as it is still "your dream."  Take from this what you will, it is hardly a breakthrough, but I always love stumbling across new information.  If you have any new ideas or evidence let me know.

Well that's all I have on the topic of dreaming for now, though new discoveries do happen from time to time, and every now and then my research will reveal some new light on a topic I have already explored, so it is entirely possible I will return and improve this information from time to time.  I know for a fact my roommate just committed to writing a paper on this subject, so maybe I'll steal some of his work when he is finished.  Also, please do share some of your own dreams below, I'm interested in seeing what all of your experiences are.

See you around


October 19, 2011

A breif introduction into Freudian physcologly

Here is the last post I have planned designed explicitly to explain and introduce myself before I move on to matters that I'm sure you will all find immensely more helpful or interesting, or completely irrelevant depending on my mood.  In this post I would like to address something you've surely noticed by now (especially if you've read my comments) and that is my seemingly dual personality.  I admit that I refer to Free and Cage as entities almost separate from myself, but this really isn't an accurate portrayal of our relationship, I am neither schizophrenic, nor do I have multiple personalities.

In fact the best way I can think to define our relationship is through Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche.  This identifies the three main aspects of the human psyche: The Id, The Ego, and The Superego.  I view my personality as an extreme manifestation of these aspects, most people are only ever aware of their Ego the middleman who decides weather the Superego or the Id takes precedence, I however am hyper aware of both my Id (Cage) and my Superego (Free).  While many only hear one part of themselves at a time, I am constantly listening to all three, and because I am so actively aware of each of my extremes I have a tendency to act on either edge of the spectrum.  This can explain how I am so ordered, sometimes even compulsively so in some of my interactions, and how I snap so easily.  If you were to visit Cage's site you would notice quite clearly the differences in our styles and even take note of how he is substantially less coherent.  However, that is more than enough rambling on my part, lets take a look at how exactly Freud divides the psyche (I'd like to take this last chance to note that while this is not a perfect parallel, most of what I will be discussing in the next paragraph will line up with my own mentalities.)

Freud believed that within each of us remained an animal instinct, a part of our minds fueled only by the need to survive and our own concerns.  The Id is a chaotic faction of our minds, driving us to pursue pleasure, comfort, and safety if need be.  It is driven by impulses, easily distracted, but completely amoral (not immoral, there is a difference), if allowed to have complete control the Id would have no objection to taking any path that brought it greater joy, regardless of the expense to others, or even the long term safety of itself (although, once again, its own immediate safety takes precedence over all else.)

However Freud also believed that mankind (and mankind alone) had developed a higher level of reasoning and altruism.  The Superego, he theorized, was responsible for all of our moral guidance, a facet of our mind that protected our long term interests by making itself conform to society's roles and expectations.  Of course, the Superego will always pursue perfection and self actualization, it is responsible for our conscience and a desire to sacrifice for the greater good.

The final aspect of the human psyche as seen by Freud was the Ego, which acted as a middleman between the often contradictory natures of the Id and Superego.  It was the Ego's job, Freud rationalized, to find ways to please the Id without endangering the Superego's moral compass or goals for long term growth.  Of the three, the Ego is believed to exert the most cconsciousness and is the part of the mind where our actual thoughts take place.

Now that we've covered this I'd like to throw up a little fun fact about Freud: despite being a very significant and influential physiologist, Freud was also well known for being a sexist pervert, and quite egotistical as well.

See you around

Side note: Another blogger, Robin, actually noticed how I presented myself this way before I made this post, and while I would like to point out that I had actually been thinking about myself this way since I took psychology in High School, I am quite impressed that he caught on so quickly.  Therefore three bonus points are awarded to Robin, congratulations on this quite useless reward.

October 14, 2011

What Happened Last Week (or why I can make a blog without a tentacle sticking out of my chest)

Well I guess it's been long enough now that I need to talk about what happened last week.  Those of you that have been paying attention probably have some idea of what I'm talking about.  Before last week I hadn't even considered starting up a blog, but now I suddenly find myself capable of writing one without completely nullifying my agreement, and I am starting to see to advantages of having this place online to consolidate my work.  But that isn't important right now, what's important is that you know how I came to the point that I could do this.

I've had a deal with the Slender Man for several months now, and part of that agreement was that I not get to involved to heavily in the online community of people trying to fight him, and in return he would keep them away from me as well as he could (and of course the whole not killing me bit).  About a month ago I starting talking to some of the blogers, true to our arrangement I didn't make my own blog, I didn't hint at the knowledge that earned me this immunity, and I remained neutral in most of my postings.  Unsurprisingly He wasn't pleased with my activity, but I didn't post anything harmful, so I was able to continue with this behavior for some time.

The first time I suspected something might have been off was a couple of weeks ago, when I found an operator symbol on my campus.  It was drawn in chalk on one of the roads behind the library, and there were no obvious reasons for someone to have drawn such a symbol there.  Of course I hadn't seen any other kind of suspicious activity or other signs of trouble, but it was still enough to unnerve me, and so I started looking around to see if I could find anyone who would have a reason to be in my area, or to track me down.  However, my research yielded no explanation, and my skinny associate claimed total ignorance in the matter, so after a week of no more activity I reached the conclusion that it was a coincidence, I was safe in my happy normal corner of the world.  It wasn't until Thursday that I realized I was wrong.

Last Thursday was the day I met the Runner, I still don't know what his name was, but it seems that it couldn't have been anybody I had met through the blogs, as they all still seem to be active.  I was getting a drink before one of my classes when I noticed him.  You know you can actually feel people who have a connection with him, I haven't felt such a sensation in a long time, so at first I was unsure of what it meant.  He was at least 6'1'', a few inches taller than myself, short blond hair, and was very muscular, clearly stronger than myself.  He came up to me fast, and before I could respond he had basically dragged me into one of the restrooms and shoved me against one of the walls.  That was when he pulled out his gun, I could see in his dark eyes that he was almost eager to use it.  Even a week later I can see all of it in my head in perfect clarity.

He was breathing heavy, he spoke in a low growl: "How did you do it, when did you start working with him?"
I was caught of guard, but I was not about to let somebody strong arm information out of me.  "They don't allow weapons on this campus," in hindsight, it was a stupid remark, I could have gone for so much more, information, a name, even a more clever retort, but in the briefest victory of my life I saw him take a step back and lower the gun slightly out of surprise.  Then he charged me, pinned my neck to the wall with his arm, leaned in close, and put the barrel of his gun on the right side of my chest.  Cold metal ready to pump a slug into my chest and the first thing I thought of was how disgusting his breath smelled, the second was, of course, that he was pointing the gun at the wrong side if he was aiming for my heart.
"I've been watching you, you're a proxy.  What do I have to do to keep safe, how did you start working for him?"
Many things dawned on me almost at once.  The first was that he thought I was a proxy, he clearly didn't know who exactly I was.  Somehow this didn't upset me nearly as much as the realization that he had been watching me, I am a scientist, not by an official means, but I enjoy studying things, I do not however enjoy being studied without my knowledge.  The third thing I realized, was that he appeared to want to join the Slender man, he was willing to trade his safety for his freedom.  The final thing I noticed, and it took a few seconds for it to sink in, was that there appeared to be a head and an impeccably well dressed pair of shoulders staring in through the window of the second floor men's room.  The Runner wasn't quite as quick to notice this development, but when he looked to see why I was staring at the window he collapsed.  I took advantage of the situation to liberate him from his gun, which went promptly into my backpack, and hoist him back to his feet.  He was still panicking, but I seemed to snap him out of it with a quick punch to the gut, which I must admit had more force than I had expected.  While he was bent over, recovering from the blow I leaned in and offered him a piece of advice: run.  He took it, and I yelled down our favorite gentleman stalker before I went to class (late) with several painfully bruised knuckles, a gun hiding in my backpack (I realized after class I never even turned the safety on), and varying amounts of rage, paranoia, and self-loathing rattling around in my head.  Needless to say that was not my best test grade.  That evening I went on a rant on several blogs, calling for the death of David.  In hindsight I'm not exactly sure why I picked him, but I needed to focus my rage, and he was an excellent target for that.

By Sunday I still had not seen anything else of this Runner, and had begun to hope that he had taken my advice to the full extent I had intended and left my area.  Of course the incident made me realize that the Slender Man had also begun to take a more liberal interpretation of our agreement, and I now had to at least partially protect myself from the occasional rouge human.  To that end I had begun carrying my knife around, it was nothing special, just a small blade that I could flip out in a hurry, no real reach or defensive capabilities, but than anything that would have either of those would be difficult to carry around inconspicuously, so I deemed my knife sufficient.  So on Sunday I decided to take a jog through this quite little nature trail, I quite like running, and with my deal running through the woods is both exhilarating and somewhat humorous, like an inside joke and the only other one who knows it doesn't get humor (although  I have been trying to teach him, he showed some progress with sarcasm the other day).  Before I discuss what happened next I think it is important to mention that I had intended to see him later that day, however our meeting place was not going to be the nature trail I was on, anyhow, continuing on.  

During my run I came across a clearing , the woods were to my back, but the rest of the area was a field.  Standing a short way into the field was the Runner I had encountered on Thursday, he appeared to be waiting for me.  My first thought went to how he got into an area completely surrounded by woods, this person was either very brave and determined, or very stupid, and in hindsight I'm almost positive it was the latter.  I paused, interrupting my run for the sake of curiosity, and he shouted out to me: "I've been waiting for you, I knew you'd be here again."  He seemed to be making some effort to not come of as intimidating.  It worked in a sense, his whole demeanor still carried a threat but I could see him actively trying to lessen it, the whole situation seemed very humorous, and so I laughed.  His appropriate nonthreatening response was to charge me, which of course had worked out splendidly the last time he tried it.  He was a fast sprinter, but he needed to cover about 20 feet to reach me and by the time he did I had almost flipped out my knife (note the almost).  He leapt into the air ready to tackle me at full speed when a tentacle shot out from my left and pinned him to the ground, I imagine you already know who I found when I turned to investigate.  My head and body tried to absorb the ten seconds of action all at once, I was already on an adrenaline high from the run, and the sudden action pushed my head into overdrive, and Cage began shouting inside my head.  I looked at the Slender Man and he offered me a choice: kill the Runner, or watch him die.  I looked at the knife in my hand, I looked at the man flailing on the ground begging for mercy, for a chance to join us, and I let Cage take over.  Cage took a single step forward, knelt to the ground, and said "This is how you join him."

Then the knife entered his heart.

I don't know what that runner's last thoughts were, but he died ignorant.

After killing him a rush entered my body, it was a kind of exhilaration I had never felt before, it was freeing.  The tentacle returned to its master and the Skinny One returned to a more human form, and I began to carve out the body.  I was surprised by how little blood there was, of course there was some, but nowhere near the amount I had expected.  I separated out the organs, I somehow had spilt the heart into two with my first strike, and I placed both halves on the grass right next to each other.  He watched in silence until I was finished.  When I had completed the ritual I looked at him and stated "This doesn't mean I work for you now."  He accepted this, and we proceeded to have a conversation about various other matters, towards the end I brought up the topic of starting a blog, he contemplated it for a while, and then gave his consent.  That evening Cage boasted of my success on Dead One's blog, and I began the process of starting my own.

This is hardly the kind of story I looked forward to retelling here, but it is important you know who I am.  I am capable of killing, I've done it once and I don't believe I would have trouble doing it again.  I do not like being studied without my knowledge, and I will exploit my relationship with the Slender Man if it benefits us both.  I am no hero, I am not a valiant person, and I will do what needs to be done to ensure my own survival, though I do not take that lightly.  And lastly, I am a curious mind, my main goal in this is to study, to investigate, and to learn, if I can earn new knowledge at some risk I will take the risk, so long as I honestly believe I can survive the fallout.

See you around
 -  Cage

October 11, 2011

Let's be honest here...

Before I go any further I want to point something out, this is an important issue to understand regardless of weather you are proxy, runner, fighter, or something else entirely: I am going to lie to you.  I probably won't spend my nights trying to figure out how to mislead you, in fact I probably won't even be dishonest most of the time, but I am going to lie.  I have my own agenda and plans outside of this conflict, or at least on a different level of it, the Slender Man isn't my life right now, but one way or another he is going to play a large role in my future, and I need to be prepared for that.  To be honest, most of my lies will be small things, nothing that will help or hurt the majority of you, lies of omission will be by far my greatest sin.

I don't want to turn any of you away from this blog, the more people who are here the easier it is for me to see the big picture, I may even help you from time to time, but it is important coming in that you all know what you are getting yourself into.  I am no saint, I am no savior, I am no hero, and the day any of those change my life is put in serious jeopardy.  When I safely can I will fight the tall one, when I have to, or when it does more harm than good I will help him, this does not mean I am on his side, this does not mean I'm getting involved, it just means that I am moving closer to one of my goals or to choosing a side.

On a different note, I realize that I am preaching to a very small choir here, and I do plan on trying to expand my little blog's membership, but I am not eager to self-promote, and most of the people I would tell are preoccupied with more important matters right now.  I suppose that I will advertise later, but until then I am more than satisfied with my current members, and I look forward to interacting with each of you.  

See you around

October 10, 2011

Greetings and Other Generic Salutations

I wasn't quite expecting this, but it now appears I have a blog.  I'm not even sure why I have one, Cage thinks its pointless, and Free thinks it is a bad idea, but I feel a need to consolidate my research, and after yesterday's event it appears I'm no longer a sufficient enough risk to be kept silent.  Rarely do I appose both my mentalities when they form an uncommon unified front, but this is something special, so I now have my own blog.  Even those of you who have been paying attention to me are probably a little confused right now, but don't worry I will explain later.

I want to start my blog by saying that I don't plan on getting involved in things again, I was on the run once and it didn't agree with me; in fact the majority of this blog will probably be largely unrelated to whats going on right now, and a small portion won't even be related to Slender Man.  This blog is a research project, I will post my findings, what I am investigating, some of my plans, the occasional theory, and some academic curiosities of mine from time to time, I may even run an experiment or two.

In light of what happened on Thursday, and again yesterday, I will be creating a second blog shortly to be a pure outlet for Cage, I would not recommend visiting there as I will be explaining anything coherent and relevant there on this site, but seeing as he has taken over for posting purposes before I thought it prudent to just give him his own space, and he agrees.  I'm aware all this makes me sounds crazy, or at least highly schizophrenic, but I assure you I am not, and will clarify this later as well.

Again welcome to my little world, I hope it agrees with you.  I highly encourage commenting and discussions, even if they are not directed at myself, its nice to see people get along and research is so much easier when I don't have to track it down.

See you around